Primary caregivers for anyone with dementia are all too acquainted with the complications experienced in trying to take a quiet minute or two alone – to use the restroom, get a brief shower, or even step into another room. Those diagnosed with Alzheimer’s can experience enhanced fear when a close member of the family is out of sight – a condition known as shadowing. And the ensuing behaviors are extremely difficult to manage: crying, anger and meanness, or continuously asking where you are.
It can help to understand the reasons behind shadowing. You are the older adult’s safe place, the main one who makes sense of a disorienting and confusing world, and when you’re gone, life can seem uncertain and frightening. And know that shadowing is not caused by anything you have done, but is merely a natural part of the advancement of Alzheimer’s.
Use the following dementia care tips for shadowing to help:
1. Increase the older adult’s circle of trust. Having another person or two with you while you go through the senior’s routines may help him/her start to trust a person apart from yourself. Little-by-little, once that trust is in place, a senior loved one will become more at ease when you need to step away, knowing there’s still a lifeline readily available.
2. Record yourself. Make a video of yourself doing dishes or tending to other weekly chores, reading aloud, singing, etc. and try playing it for the senior. This digital substitution could be all that’s needed to provide a sense of comfort while she or he is apart from you.
3. Utilize distractions. Finding a soothing activity for the senior to engage in could be enough of a distraction to permit you a brief period of respite. Try repetitive tasks, such as sorting silverware or nuts and bolts, filing papers, or folding napkins, or anything else that is safe and of interest to a senior loved one.
4. Avoid conflict. A senior loved one could become angry or combative in an effort to express his or her concern about being alone. No matter what he or she may say, it is imperative that you keep from quarreling with or correcting your loved one. An appropriate response is always to validate the senior’s feelings (“I can see you’re feeling upset,”) and refocus the conversation to a much more soothing topic (“Would you like to try a piece of the cake we made this morning?”)
5. Make clear the separation period. Because the sense of time is frequently lost in individuals diagnosed with dementia, telling a senior loved one you’ll just be away for a moment might not mean very much. Try using a common wind-up kitchen timer for brief separations. Set the timer for the amount of time you’ll be away and ask your loved one to hold onto it, explaining that when it dings, you’ll be back.
Hiring the services of a skilled dementia caregiver who comprehends the nuances of dementia and can put into action creative strategies such as these can help restore peace to both you and the senior you adore. The dementia care professionals at Independence-4-Seniors Home Care are fully trained and here to fill in whenever you need a helping hand. Give us a call at (630) 323-4665 for a free-of-charge in-home consultation and discover how we provide dementia care DuPage County seniors can depend on.