Have you ever walked into the office or a get-together with friends or family and had someone say to you with great concern, “You really look tired today!” Even though you may have been feeling relatively perky before that instance, you now really DO feel exhausted and rundown. The words we speak to one another and also the way we interpret them are meaningful. So when addressing those with chronic health issues, it is essential that you carefully think about what to say, and maybe more to the point, what NOT to say, to help the person feel his or her best.
While we’re undoubtedly well-meaning, there are certain comments which can be better left unsaid. Blurting out a less-than-sensitive comment, according to Mindy Beth Lipson, a Phoenix psychologist, occurs because, “I think people are just scared and nervous and don’t know how to respond. There might be several reasons, the first being it brings up their own mortality. Some people also just lack empathy.”
Following are several statements to eliminate from your vernacular when communicating with individuals facing health issues:
- “My friend had the same prognosis and was in poor health for months.” Sharing adverse stories about someone with the same medical diagnosis is a surefire way to bring the person’s spirits down. As an alternative, keep in mind that every person deals with health issues in various ways, and concentrate on the positives the individual you’re talking with has achieved.
- “If you’d only stopped smoking (or exercised; or followed a healthy eating plan; etc.) this couldn’t have happened.” It is nearly impossible to determine if the outcome could possibly have been different if healthier options were made, and there is no benefit to playing “what if.” Focus alternatively on providing the support and empathy the person needs right now, and leave any feelings of judgment at the door.
- “Do you remember…?” Specific to individuals who have dementia or other cognitive impairment, memory prompts of this nature can add towards the frustration and agitation already experienced. Sharing stories from times gone by as though they’re brand-new is a superb technique to engage the person instead.
Your best bet is to enable the person the ability to talk about (or not to share with you) his/her experiences and feelings, hold the individual’s hand if it is welcome, provide a bright bouquet of flowers or other small gift or treat, and provide your affectionate, loving presence and support.
For many more care tips, or for hands-on advice about reliable care within the comfort of home, contact Independence-4-Seniors Home Care’s Hinsdale senior care team. We can provide specialized, caring assistance for people experiencing a medical crisis that brings comfort and peace, through companionship, assistance with daily meals and household chores, transportation to medical appointments and procedures, running errands, and much more. Give us a call at (630) 323-4665 to let us find out how our in-home care services can help.