Perhaps you recall having “the talk” with your parents about those cringeworthy pre-teen topics. If you thought that was uncomfortable, brace yourself for how to talk to parents about aging issues and the need for care at home! This can be extremely difficult, for many reasons:
- Your parent may resent what seems to be a reversal of roles or being told what to do
- They could be in denial that there is a problem at all
- They may feel threatened and fearful of losing independence in addition to freedom to make their own choices
How can you overcome these very valid feelings to come to a place of acceptance about home care services? Try these recommendations as a starting point:
- Plan the conversation: who will attend, what you will discuss, where you can best talk without distractions.
- Think through what it would be like to be in your parent’s shoes and how you would want the conversation to go.
- Resolve to stay respectful and calm through the entire discussion, never trying to parent your parent.
- Listen to the person’s worries with an open mind and without preplanned responses.
- Realize there might be more than one solution – and that it often takes more than one conversation to attain agreement.
Before approaching your parent, practice what you plan to say with a friend you trust to give you honest feedback. Role-playing is an excellent strategy to refine your words and presentation and to help you gain confidence.
When you are prepared to talk to your parent, be prepared for any outcome. In an ideal world, they will agree with your concerns and be open to having the support of a home care professional. It’s certainly plausible that they share your concerns, but were unsure how to broach the topic with you. But likewise be ready for resistance, defensiveness, and possibly anger.
In the event that the discussion is leading to heightened emotions and you are heading for an impasse, pause the conversation and try again later. It might be beneficial to include someone your parent trusts and respects in a subsequent conversation, for instance, a close friend or medical professional.
When you’re ready to explore home care options for your parent, contact Independence-4-Seniors Home Care. We are able to start with minimal support, such as meals, transportation, or light housekeeping, and slowly work up to more care once your parent feels at ease with their caregiver.
We know how difficult it can be to figure out how to talk to parents about aging and for someone to admit the need for help in the home. Our goal is always to encourage an environment of independence in which each person in our care continues to be as much in control of each of life’s decisions as possible. You can contact us online or call us 24/7 at (630) 323-4665 for more information on our highly personalized home care services in Hinsdale, Western Springs, La Grange and surrounding areas.