As our parents age, it is not necessarily easy to know what our role as adult children should be. We’d like whatever is best for them, however if we’re not very careful, we can overstep our boundaries and discover ourselves attempting to parent our elderly parents.
This is especially true when safety is an issue. There is a fine line to walk between helping senior parents stay safe, and encouraging the independent lifestyle they require and deserve. All things considered, it was not that far back when our parents were taking care of not merely all their own needs, but ours as well. The change from care provider to care recipient is usually frustrating and painful for seniors.
Being mindful of this, there are specific areas of independent life that an older adult may now be lacking. If we aren’t careful in the way we approach these losses, it can lead to arguments, hurt feelings, and fractured relationships.
For example, one part of senior independence that’s often jeopardized is in others stepping in to take over tasks which could now be a bit more complicated and take a bit longer for an older adult to perform. Even though intentions are certainly the very best, it’s actually harmful to a senior’s self-worth and self-esteem. A better approach is to allow a good amount of extra time, and to only offer assistance when truly necessary.
Yet one of the primary indicators of freedom is the power to drive, to go wherever and whenever we please. When driving is no longer safe for an older adult, it is imperative to approach the topic with empathy and tact. Neuropsychologist Dr. Sanam Hafeez explains that all too often, adult children lose patience with their older parents, ultimately saying hurtful comments that may be truly traumatic.
He recommends avoiding words such as, “You’re not allowed to drive any more!” It really is much kinder and more effective to present seniors with choices, and also to engage them in brainstorming a potential alternative. A good example of this could be, “I know it’s getting more difficult for you to see clearly now, which must make it really difficult to drive. Let’s speak about some options that will enable you to go wherever you want safely.”
Together, you’re then able to brainstorm an idea that’s agreeable to everybody. When contemplating choices, keep in mind that caregivers from Independence-4-Seniors Home Care are available any time, day or night, to offer assistance at home for seniors. Our services are available based on each senior’s wishes and timeframe, whether that means a weekly lunch date with a friend, medical or salon appointments, attending religious services, or simply a Sunday afternoon drive to get out of the home and relish the scenery. We provide home care in DuPage County and in the surrounding area. Contact us at 630-323-4665 for details.